GOLDEN QUESTIONS
The secret to going deep in the personality of others happens to lie in how to ask a good question. Surface questions deal with weather, business, and the news of the day. To go deep in the personalities of others, one must learn to ask simple, childlike questions. The Golden Questions relate to feelings and immediately access the depths of human experiencing. Students must be cautious lest they enter areas untrod by ordinary society. A good knowledge of is also helpful.
Outline:
I. The Golden Questions for Real Feelings
II. The Golden Questions for Old Feelings
III. The Golden Questions for Copied Feelings
IV. The Golden Questions for Manipulative Feelings
V. Accessing human depths
Introduction:
Do you get tired of ordinary conversation? After awhile you know every gesture, every non-verbal, and can even predict when to nod, laugh, shrug, or give a grunt. Liberation Psychotherapy gives access to deeper levels of human experiencing, and, in so doing, probably also lead people to question the pastiming of normal society. Irregardless , we shall plunge on providing penetrating questions for those who have tired of superficiality and want to know where people really live in the depths of their personalities.
I. The Golden Question for Real Feelings.
A. SADNESS
For a person really experiencing grief:
"How can I be with you?" Pause. Wait until the person answers from deep within.
For a person needing permission to cry:
"Do you know that it is okay to weep and even to sob if that is what your body needs?"
For a person unaware of the source of their sadness:
"What have you lost? What is it that you are missing?"
For a person lost in deep grief:
"I'll be over here silently. When you need something or want to talk, will you tell me?"
For a person in ordinary sadness:
"Do you have permission to just sigh and go with what you are feeling?"
B. ANGER
"How have you been offended?"
"How can I be with you?'
C. SCARE
"Do you know that it is okay to breathe, shake, and make loud sounds until your breathing returns to normal?"
"How can I be with you?"
D. HAPPINESS (no questions.Just join in.)
E. EXCITEMENT (no questions.Join with.)
F. TENDERNESS
(no questions.Comment: "I love to see you tender and vulnerable. You are safe with me".)
II. The Golden Questions for Old Feelings
"How young do you feel?"
"What happened to you back then?"
One then proceeds with Anatomy of a Trauma considerations.
III. The Golden Questions for Copied Feelings
"Who are you acting like, right now? You don't seem you."
" Is it your choice to feel what your ________ felt?"
"Do you think that by copying that person you help?"
Remember that a person can not only feel what parents or a sibling felt; they also copy a spouse or even a child. For instance, if a child is sick, a parent will frequently copy the child's feeling.
IV. The Golden Question for phony, Manipulative Feelings
"I'm wondering what you are feeling underneath what you are feeling on the surface?"
"When you felt this feeling as a child, how did your parents react?”
V. Accessing human depths
We are a little cautious in our presentation of the Golden Questions because we know that the implementing of them means a step away from banal, everyday normal talk. We prefer to think that these questions can be asked in a soft, non-threatening manner so that no one will be offended. Rather, we hope, those you want to go deeper with will actually be complimented because, finally, someone understands and cares! Still, it is best to enter the unconscious depths with a measured cautious step.
And, yes, the three feelings of old, copied, and manipulative are clear and verifiable ways that the unconscious shows itself. People in the process of feeling one of these three have no conscious understanding of not being appropriate or present. With calm and patient questions, however, they can bring forth the depths so that authentic communication can occur. We think you will find this exciting.
